On Saturday evening, when you perform at the Cleveland House of Blues, if you are as drunk as you were when you played with the Strokes at the Agora in 2006, I will personally see to it that you get socked in the face. By me. Nobody wants a dude who plays the wrong notes and forgets all the words onstage.
On second thought, maybe I've loosened up since my freshman year of college. Maybe I'll go easy on you.
Go on, resume alcoholism. I'll still hang with you.
P.S. Tell your friend Fabrizio that I went to Little Joy while I was in Los Angeles. I'm pretty happy he named his band after a crappy bar in Echo Park. It would have been even cooler if he named it Echo Curio.