Feelings are attached to music. In horrible situations, I try not to listen to music because every song will be tied to that horrible memory.
Today, I put on the Amelie soundtrack, thinking about how beautiful it is. And I was almost immediately overcome with anxiety. In a panicked state, I just kind of dropped what I was doing to think about what was happening to me.
I think this is why. I used to listen to this soundtrack almost every day when I was studying abroad in Spain. I was really homesick and it really helped me get through the days. But to this day, I tie this soundtrack to a feeling that reaches down to the pit of my stomach, a fear and sadness that almost brings tears to my eyes.
I suppose I have my usual anxieties about the changes to my lifestyle. For some reason I have some sort of endless terror when it comes to the people and places I have to leave behind - even when it is temporary. Graduating college in a month = big change.
In the meantime, you take a listen to “Les Jours Tristes” by Yann Tiersen from Amelie. It’s gorgeous.